1. If you were forced to attend a family reunion with your boyfriend, which one of these towns would you feel most comfortable visiting?

Brooklyn, New York
Bowie, Maryland
Memphis, Tennessee
Clarion, Pennsylvania
Laurel, Mississippi

2. Personally, I'd never be caught dead calling anybody any of these, but which pet name would you feel the most comfortable calling your lover man?

Wooby-Wooby
Hungry Man
Happy Pants
Kooky-Nooky
Mah Lil' Rubber Biscuit

3. Which South Park character speaks closest to your inner sense of value and self-worth?

Cartman
Kenny
Mr. Mackey
Stan
Mr. Hanky

4. You've stopped off in one of those duty-free shops near the San Diego/Tijuana border, and they only sell the following five items. Assuming they're all roughly the same price, which do you take back with you?

A Hard Rock Cafe menu
A Wonder Woman Pez dispenser
An antique shotgun
An old vinyl "Muppets Disco" LP
A pair of green Converse sneakers

5. Which of the following hairstyles and facial hair arrangements do you most like on a man?

Tight, sassy, golden-locked curls - geez, wonder who we're talking about here
Sharp, pseudo-punk, spiky platinum blond strands
Brutish, ever-changing, bulky stalks and an occasional Fu Manchu beard
Conservative, yet assertive, consummately gelled and thick brown clumps
I don't know what you'd call it, but it looks like a fez to me